View “I’d get upset when the packet finished”

“I’d get upset when the packet finished”

Every day at school, two bells would ring at 1 o’clock sharp. The school bell, with its loud, shrill ring, signalled that lunchtime was finally here and that it was time to take care of hunger – of one sort, at least. The other bell started quietly, inside my client’s head. It slowly and slyly…

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View “I love you” … “I know”

“I love you” … “I know”

This truly is a food love story; it starts with “I love you”. It also starts with a stew. And it starts a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. A father-son relationship is the backbone of both Star Wars and of this story my client told me about his own father’s Force-wielding, which was…

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View “I always put two cocktail cherries in his because he loved them. Probably more than he ever loved me”

“I always put two cocktail cherries in his because he loved them. Probably more than he ever loved me”

Our conversation had snowballed into Snowballs. There was no doubt we had been jingled some of the way here because Christmas was only a few days away. Therapy, like any conversation, changes with the seasons, just as food does. To eat or drink seasonally is to know what it’s like to long for something and…

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View “It’s not Mum food”

“It’s not Mum food”

It was the story of a little girl who used to defy bedtime on Fridays, with fierce fists and fiercer tears. She would wait, with both patience and pain, on the landing in the dark for her mum to return from work. Her little heart would skip a beat as she heard the quiet scrape…

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View “No man is an île flottante”

“No man is an île flottante”

No man is an island – it’s true. But more than that, no man is a floating island – we are anchored in our relationships, from the very beginning. We aren’t isolated islands. As children, our parents are the stronger and wiser ones we expect to rescue us, and provide refuge to soothing shores when…

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View “I’m not eating that. Fish fingers are not circles”

“I’m not eating that. Fish fingers are not circles”

My client once told me about a childhood summer holiday where, under the heat of the Mediterranean sun, she hotly refused to eat her squid supper. She had been introduced to calamari by her mum as the “circular sister” of the straight and familiar fish finger, which she dearly loved. As a child, fish fingers…

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View “Meet, eat, repeat”

“Meet, eat, repeat”

There is one ingredient that seasons everything in any relationship – just like salt, it will bring out the flavour of the bond between two people. That ingredient is trust. If it’s not right, it absolutely needs adjusting because affects everything. It’s tantamount and it’s tangible – we feel it if it is or isn’t…

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View “Sharing plates, sharing minds”

“Sharing plates, sharing minds”

Growing up at the Greek table, sharing was an unquestioned part of how food was served. The only claim I could ever make to being on trend is that our family was doing “family style” meals long before it obtained its style status. It was simply just what we did every evening at dinner. When…

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View “As a couple, we weren’t a good combo. It was like we didn’t emulsify”

“As a couple, we weren’t a good combo. It was like we didn’t emulsify”

Romantic relationships are exactly like emulsifications – you need a combination of ingredients that holds together, and ultimately, that doesn’t split. It needs to be smooth. And generally, if a relationship isn’t smooth, if there are too many bumps in the road that make it unsafe and uncomfortable, we need to take a look at…

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